| Relapse. And its Friday the 13th, joy.
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| Self destructive. What else is new? I get tired of living this life like this at times. I'm in need of a change.
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I am in a relationship. Whoa. Weird. Never ever thought that would be
happening for a very long time. I think I still don't particularly
believe it. Last night was a crazy mess. But it was ok. It wasn't drama
just more of personal things. I love that Maddie is my room mate,
absolutely love it. But her being here reminds a lot about The Woods
cause thats all I have ever known where she is involved. I got drunk,
too drunk, and really sad basically. I haven't been sad drunk in
probably over 8 months. Then some how I ended the night with being in a
relationship. Its weird cause he is kinda the first guy that I have
even wanted to open up to or give the time of day to since last year.
Its a good thing, I think. I'm just different. It is hard to explain.
I'll never be able to completely be myself around some one, well I will
be but it will be a very long time. But its different with him. Trust
isn't an issue, which is nice to have again. I don't know I will just
see where it goes. But today I still feel a little weird. Just kinda
down. I miss The Woods. I miss my friends. I miss my barn and my house
and all the securities I had while I lived there. It is so true that
you don't know what you've got till its gone. I can't wait to get my
ass down there and spend a straight week with my true friends. Friends
that I know will be in my life for a very very long time. I am so
thankful for them and I wish I could only let them know that more
often.
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| This
crazy beautiful mess of a life.... I wouldn't change it for a thing.
Went to the lake this weekend. Had a wonderful time and was reminded
why I love my friends and this town.
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| I'm
losing faith. Every where I turn are liars, cheaters, people with
absolutely no morals or any concern for any body but themselves. It
just gets to be a little much some times. How did everything turn out
to be like this? When did our innocence leave us and take away what we
knew to be right and wrong? Why? I just don't know what or who to
believe, about anything anymore.
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